The Myth of Having it All Figured Out
By Cindy Halvorson.
I believed a lie!
And yes, it was a lie I told myself. My younger self expected, believed, that by the time I turned 50, I would have life figured out. I would be knowledgeable, capable, and never wonder “Now what do I do?” When I turned 50, I was sadly disappointed. Not only did I not have the answers my younger self had expected, I had many more questions.
I believed a lie!
And yes, it was a lie I told myself. My inexperienced self expected, believed, that by the time I graduated from seminary, I would know how to be a skilled pastor, with wisdom and divine guidance for all occasions, and never wonder “Now what do I do?” When I was installed and ordained as a minister, I was sadly disappointed. As I embraced my first call, I heard myself repeatedly saying, “They didn’t teach us that in seminary.”
Oh my, the lies and unrealistic expectations that permeate our lives! To think that at some point we will know all-the-things and we will have all-the-knowledge (hmmm, isn’t there a story about a tree in a beautiful garden about that?) seems rather absurd. Yet, many of us strive to achieve some level of perfection and absolute wisdom in this lifetime. To add to the complexity of the situation, we often don’t realize we are holding to this kind of thinking or telling ourselves this type of narrative.
However, this life is infused with the concept of continual growing and learning … unless we refuse to do so. Yet if we refuse to grow and learn, we find ourselves in a challenging place. We become stuck being who we were at one point in time while the world around us continues moving and changing. And let’s be honest about the unrealistic expectation that seminary training covers all-the-things needed for healthy ministry. We would never fully complete the course work and graduation would never happen! There’s a reason seminary professors encourage students to be life-long learners.
With our society changing at such a high speed, with churches wondering how to live their calling, with the tone of our culture being one of divisiveness, we all need support and opportunities to grow and learn. Some have found one-on-one methods, such as counseling, coaching, reflective supervision, and spiritual direction to be incredibly helpful for their ongoing health and growth as a leader.
Dear ones, you who are leading and caring for others, we see you. We are eager to walk alongside you one-on-one as you face the challenges of ministry. Knowing the program year is soon to begin, you might want to reach out this month and garner the support you need as you journey with your community through these perplexing times.
As I reflect, my over-50-year-old self is grateful for the growth and learning that has occurred in my life in the past years. As for the learning that happened after my seminary graduation? Thank God for that!
May all our wonderings and wanderings lead us home.
LeaderWise is committed to life-long learning and supporting those in ministry. To learn more, check out our offerings here.
