Losing Power
Four ways to respond to a sense of powerlessness.
By LeaderWise Staff.
Last week, we gave voice to a reality many leaders carry quietly: the subtle, often disorienting experience of feeling their influence wane. In moments that can feel both tender and unsettling, leaders may find themselves wondering, Am I still relevant?—even as their care for people and commitment to their call remains as strong as ever.
We reflected on how this “loss of power” is not the loss of one’s voice, but a shift in when and how that voice is received. And we named how easy it is, in these moments, to respond from anxiety or discouragement—gripping more tightly, striving to be seen, pulling back, or harboring resentment. These responses are deeply human, yet they can quietly erode the very relationships and trust that sustain meaningful leadership. (Click here to read the full article.)
Beneath it all is an invitation: not to reclaim what once was, but to discern how to lead faithfully within changing conditions—to steward what remains with wisdom, humility, and courage.
This week, we turn toward that invitation more directly, offering four grounded practices to help leaders respond to moments of powerlessness with clarity, integrity, and hope.
One: Don’t worry it into a bad place
LeaderWise consultant Mary Kay DuChene often encourages leaders to pause and ask a clarifying question: Is this a real loss of power, or a perceived one? “I’ve experienced many leaders who think they have lost power,” she notes, “but that isn’t necessarily true.” In seasons of stress or uncertainty, it’s easy for our internal narrative to run ahead of reality. Left unchecked, our assumptions can quietly harden into conclusions that shape how we lead, relate, and respond.
One of the most faithful things we can do in these moments is to gently test our perceptions. Where can you gather reliable data? Who are the trusted voices in your system who can offer honest, grounded feedback? Inviting others to speak into your experience can help you discern what is actually changing—and what may simply feel like loss because it is unfamiliar or uncomfortable.
At times, more structured feedback can also be helpful. Tools like the EQ-360 can offer a broader view of how you are showing up, highlighting both strengths and areas for growth across key dimensions of emotional intelligence. Whether through trusted relationships or thoughtful assessment, seeking clearer perspective can keep you from letting your anxiety run the show—and instead help you lead with greater clarity, steadiness, and truth.
Two: Consider whether you are suffering from a zero-sum mindset
When leaders perceive irrelevance, they often start thinking in zero-sum terms: If I have less power, someone else must have more. The rise of other leaders doesn’t automatically diminish your influence. Shared leadership can actually expand overall impact. Letting go of control can actually increase trust and reach. [You might know this intellectually. You might even preach on it. But test whether you believe it to be true!]
Can you shift your focus from power (positional) to influence (relational)? Let go of being the “one” that everyone turns to. Instead, prioritize relationship-building with and lifting up other leaders who are working towards a common cause or goal.
Invest deeply where you still have relational trust. Influence grows in proximity, not in abstraction. Ask: Who shares my/our values, mission, common goals? Then go deeper there. Listen deeply to those people. When leaders feel power slipping, they often talk more. A better move is to listen more strategically. What are people actually dealing with right now? Where are they already finding support or meaning? What do they no longer expect from someone in my role? Listen not to mimic trends but to understand the landscape you’re actually in rather than the one you remember. It may feel like “fewer people,” but depth often has a longer arc of impact than breadth ever did.
When you're struggling with a zero-sum mindset, this is a good place to find a coach who can offer you exercise and experiments to break out of the mindset.
Three: Turn to the spirit
Spiritual Director Kathy Talvacchia shares wisdom from Christianity that in moments of weakness our power is made strong. “For me,” says Kathy, “this means that our power as leaders comes from the internal sense of calling and conviction given to us through Spirit. Basically, our power comes from the inside-out, not through the role alone (outside to inside).” While you lose institutional power, your inner authority and power as leaders is harder to lose.
Spiritual Direction can be a great practice for turning inward and relocating that source of power and inspiration.
Four: Drop the rope
In his role as a therapist, LeaderWise Executive Director and psychologist Drew Benson pays close attention to moments when leaders find themselves struggling against something outside of their control. “When our sense of power begins to slip—whether in the face of uncertainty, conflict, or limitation—it’s only natural to try harder, to push for resolution, to regain control.” Without realizing it, we can end up expending significant energy fighting battles that cannot be won on our terms. In these moments, “losing power” can feel unsettling, even threatening to our sense of calling and identity.
Rather than staying stuck in this tug-of-war with reality, what might happen if we “dropped the rope?” This is not resignation, but a courageous form of acceptance—an honest acknowledgment of what is and is not within our control. From there, we are freed to redirect our energy toward what truly matters: taking committed action aligned with our values, showing up with presence and integrity, and trusting that faithfulness is more important than control.
For many leaders, this kind of shift does not come easily or quickly. The support of a skilled therapist can provide a steady, compassionate space to discern what is yours to carry and what is not, to process the anxiety that comes with diminished control, and to reconnect with your deepest values and sense of purpose. In this way, what first feels like a loss of power may become an unexpected invitation—toward greater clarity, deeper trust, and more grounded, faithful leadership.
In times like these, accompaniment matters. Through assessment, coaching, spiritual direction, or counseling, leaders can find space to listen more deeply—to God, to others, and to their own lives—and to rediscover a grounded sense of purpose. What feels like a loss of power may, with the right support, become a doorway into more faithful and enduring leadership.
In addition to learning through this article series, you’re invited to explore the topic of power during our free April 30 Learning Hour presented by Rev. Dr. Kristina Lizardy-Hajbi. Register here for this free learning opportunity.
