The TKI assessment offers clergy greater agency in navigating conflict

By Dan Nelson, PhD, LP, LeaderWise Assessment Team.

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) is one of the assessment tools used with clergy at LeaderWise. It measures how often and how comfortably individuals use five different approaches to managing conflict. Discussing TKI results with a staff psychologist or in our Confidence in Conflict workshop helps clergy—from candidates through retirement—identify the approaches they tend to rely on most and least often. This feedback is also useful for expanding the number of tools available in their conflict management toolbox.

One hundred clergy candidates assessed through LeaderWise completed the TKI and indicated their frequency or comfort with using the five approaches described below. They are listed from least to most preferred among the group of 100.

5. Competing

Competing was the least frequently preferred approach among the clergy candidates. In this approach, each party emphasizes its own concerns, sometimes at the expense of the other’s concerns, as the other party is viewed as interfering with important goals. Although this was the least preferred approach among the clergy candidates—with fewer than 3% identifying it as their preferred approach—Competing can be useful when a situation requires firm leadership or when important values or the health of the congregation are at stake.

4. Collaborating

Collaborating involves working with the other party to find a solution that addresses the important concerns of both sides. Exploring underlying issues can help the parties understand each other's concerns and identify creative solutions that might not otherwise be considered. Collaboration requires more time and mutual effort than some other approaches, but it can be particularly useful when the parties are willing to engage in a thoughtful discussion and work together toward a creative long-term solution.

Clergy candidates equally preferred the next two styles.

3. Compromising

Compromising focuses on finding a practical, mutually acceptable solution that at least partially satisfies the concerns of both parties. This approach seeks a middle ground, with each party giving up something in order to reach an agreement. Compromise can be useful when a timely solution is needed or when a temporary agreement can provide an opportunity for further discussion of a more complex issue.

2. Avoiding

Avoiding may not initially seem like a conflict-management strategy, but there are situations in which temporarily stepping away from conflict can be useful. Rather than immediately pursue one’s concerns, a person may diplomatically sidestep an issue, postpone a discussion until a more appropriate time, or withdraw from a situation that feels particularly threatening. Avoiding may be appropriate when addressing an issue immediately would create more disruption or stress than benefit, or when the issue is expected to naturally resolve itself over time.

1. Accommodating

By far, Accommodating was the most frequently preferred conflict-management approach among the clergy candidates. It was ranked as the preferred approach by 47% of those in the study. Accommodating involves setting aside one's own concerns in order to address the concerns of another person. The goal of using this approach may be to preserve harmony, reduce resentment, or maintain a positive relationship. Accommodating can communicate support, sensitivity, and generosity and may be particularly useful when maintaining a relationship is more important than pursuing one's own position. However, when an issue is important enough to warrant assertiveness or a firm boundary, this approach may leave issues unaddressed which later re-emerge.

Expanding Your Conflict-Management Toolbox

Clergy candidates who complete the TKI and discuss their results with a staff psychologist gain greater awareness of their preferences and comfort levels across all five approaches. Discussion can explore whether a particular approach is being relied upon too often or too rarely and can identify situations in which another approach might be more effective.

Because conflict is an inevitable part of ministry, developing flexibility in how conflict is managed provides clergy with a broader range of options for responding to these situations. The goal is not to eliminate a preferred approach, rather to expand one's conflict-management toolbox so that multiple approaches can be considered when different situations call for them.