The Best Scones You Ever Tasted
Tapping into the Community around You
On Saturday mornings, I make my way to a parking lot full of food stands. It is a makeshift farmer’s market with many tents and a few orange cones. Welcome to my weekly practice of slowing down to connect into my community.
I beeline to the bakery line first. The bakers had been away last weekend on a camping trip, and I missed them. My morning caffeine has barely registered, and I spot a friend who I have also been missing. She’s been fostering a puppy for a service dog program. Pre-planned get-togethers were not happening with the chaos of a puppy! I am thrilled she made it out of the house, and the puppy is doing well. We chit-chat about the baked goods. Seriously the best savory scones you’ve ever tasted.
Another friend rolls up on their bike. Three is a party, and I am thrilled at our luck to run into each other. “Are you not working Saturdays anymore?” “The art center has a wonderful exhibit up right now!” “Oh I’ve been meaning to tell you…” One friend and I find out we are planning to be at the same community event later. The other friend wishes she could attend, and we will let her know how it goes.
It is a great practice for me to show up in community spaces and just see what happens. I slow down and stay open to connection. I take in my surroundings, and I look at the faces around me. Over time, those faces become familiar. Strangers become friendly strangers. I am not going through the motions of daily life alone. I am part of my community. A whole group of people woke up on Saturday and decided to go to the market, talk with their favorite vendors, and buy tasty food.
I was not born a farmer’s market aficionado. I’m an avid traveler, and I love visiting markets to feel the pulse of wherever I am visiting. In a period of reflection last year about how I could make my everyday life more satisfying, I asked myself, “What do I do when I’m traveling that I don’t do at home?” Voila - a community event enthusiast was born. Beyond bringing more joy to my everyday life, I feel more connected to my community and see friends more spontaneously.
Planning an outing or friend date seems to work well in our hyper-scheduled culture. Planned time creates that intentional space where conversations can go deep, and it isn’t months before you see each other. Yet, I still love the charm of a chance meet-up. But is it really just chance? My weekly farmer’s market time disrupts the hurriedness of modern society and the isolation that plagues us. I am surrounded by my community, if I but choose to tap into it.
To me, a culture of connection rejects the lie that we are isolated. As a psychologist, I see that people’s wellbeing flourishes in connection. Leaders in service are no exception. I see the benefits when leaders slow down, show up, and enjoy themselves in community spaces where they are not “in charge.” My friends (from the farmers market story above) are both teachers. Can you recall a child’s shock to see their teacher out at the market?! Leaders can reject their isolation and reclaim the interconnection inherent to their everyday lives. As I’ve welcomed the opportunity to cultivate my community, I welcome you to reflect, too:
How can I embrace my community when I run my errands?
How do I slow down and let strangers’ faces become familiar?
When and where do I feel a joyful spark when spontaneously connecting with others?
If I feel bogged down, where can I create an opening so I can keep showing up in community spaces that revitalize me?
How do I carry the spirit of community wherever I go?
May you walk in the world and stumble upon your community greeting you where you already are!
Journalist Derek Thompson recently named this the Anti-Social Century. Americans are spending more and more time alone. Our “aloneness” is reshaping our realities. It is certainly changing our ministry contexts. Throughout this year, LeaderWise writers will share their outlooks on our Anti-Social Century and what we can do to build a culture of connection.
Interested in other articles on the Culture of Connection?
2025 Resolution Against Loneliness by Mary Kay DuChene
Ingredients for Connection: Solitude & Connectedness by Becca Fletcher
Creating Time for Connection by Cindy Halvorson
Am I Safe Here? From LeaderWise’s Leadership Team
It’s Not Easy Being New by emilie boggis
