Who Do You Know?

Jun 26

Remember the old adage, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”

How often does this ring true? It pops up in our denominational settings, our church administration, navigating projects, and more. There is something frustrating about the fact that connection to people is often what it takes to get ahead – or stay afloat. Consequently, it feels like we are often only interested in people for the sake of the resources they bring to the table. Just as daunting is the notion of being just another resource in someone else’s tool box. This is particularly true for those in service and helping-related professions.

Several years ago, I modified that adage to remind myself that it’s not what I know or who I know, but what I know about who I know.

Allow me to nuance that a little bit. Howard Thurman famously said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Knowing people is more about having an awareness of the activities they engage in or the talents they possess; knowing people is about understanding what makes them come alive.

Connection can be viewed as the social art of offering people contexts in which they are able to come alive. This also comes with a specific vulnerability. Genuine connection isn’t just building our own internal rolodex of people’s passions. It’s an organic network that thrives on mutuality. We model connection by allowing our passions to be seen and available to others as we go about learning more about those in our circles. In contrast to the drain of being a tool in someone’s box, genuine connection has the possibility of growing into something truly life giving!

Eventually, the process of connection can become a function of muscle memory. The more we connect, the easier it becomes to see the passion and aliveness of others through the lens of our life and passion.