It’s Christmas Eve Eve. Don’t Freak Out.
By emilie boggis.
It’s Christmas Eve Eve. We at LeaderWise wanted to send you some quick and easy tools to care for your body, set (realistic) expectations, and offer some grace.
1. Give your nervous system a break.
Practice the 54321 Grounding Technique and give its gift to others. In this season of high expectations on all fronts, we aren’t even aware of how anxious our bodies are.
Take 2-3 breaths trying each time to elongate your exhale. Next, notice:
5 things you can see
4 things you can hear
3 things you can feel/touch (not for fingers alone: consider the feeling of your clothes, your body on the chair, or your feet on the floor)
2 things you can smell*
1 thing you can taste*
*When it comes to the last two (smell & taste), it may feel difficult to notice these in the present moment. Consider extending the timeline by 24 hours. What is one smell of the last 24 hours you want to notice? What is one taste you want to savor in the next 24 hours?
2. Clarify your expectations.
With your body feeling more regulated, it’s time for clarity. What subconscious expectations have you set? Asking this question in 1:1 sessions this month, I’ve heard a lot of outsized expectations: “I’ll have EVERYTHING wrapped up by 12/23 - orders of service printed, sermons finished, fully present [or insert your list here].” “I’ll be exactly what people need as I visit them in the hospital.” “Our staff will have the capacity to mediate any conflict that kicks off.” “The Christmas Eve service will save our church.” Don’t get me wrong. Holidays are a big deal. However, when the expectation is perfection, it’s a set-up.
What if we right-sized our expectations? The term “relative effort” from The Long and The Short of It podcast is helpful. What is the one thing you want to focus your efforts on? What is the one thing that your audience really needs? Please notice: It’s one thing, not many or even a few things. One thing. Remember also, you can’t control others. You can only control yourself. How do YOU want to show up?
3. You are not responsible for everyone’s happiness.
In spiritual direction, the practice of Intercessory Prayer helps many who suffer from the expectation that they need to be all things to all people. Or those of us who worry about who is going to show up for those in need when we’re taking a much needed break. It is a prayer that invites God, the Holy Spirit, and/or other human beings to be present with others. My current favorite is The Collect (CAH-lect) Prayer, often used in Anglican and Catholic traditions, that collects our intentions.
So, here’s a Collect Prayer for you:
Loving God and Spirit of Life,
who quietly calls us away from isolation and to return back into connection.
It’s Christmas Eve Eve,
and we’re afraid that all of the wheels are about to come off this car we’re driving.
We mere humans could use a breath of peace, a sprig of sweet pine, a room of invitation,
a measure of song, of laughter, and a promise of grace and job well done.
Help us to release our lofty dreams of daily perfection and live into the beauty of this very human moment so that Presence and Peace may be realized on Earth, as it is in heaven.
Amen and Ashe and Blessed Be
